By Dr. Paula Bloom
With the exception of very few shoes, I’d say that the whole “it will get more comfortable” thing is an excuse to buy things that just don’t fit properly. How often, really, does a shoe that hurts when you first try it on get better and better with more wear? How much pain is worth enduring?
In a recent blog post I shared about the ritual shoe purge that I go through every few years. What I realized is that many of the ill-fitting shoes were bought on sale. Do you realize that you often can spend more money buying several pairs of shoes that you’ll rarely wear than had you just paid full price for the shoe that you really want?
Listen, I like to get things on sale just as much as anyone else. But this reminds me a lot of what happens with “low-fat” type foods. If you really want that homemade chocolate chip cookie that is made with real butter and sugar why not have ONE? (I’m not talking here about people who have medical conditions where low-fat and low-sugar diets are recommended by their doctor in order to help manage their health condition.) If you say, “No, I can’t, let me just eat some low-fat packaged ones,” you are at risk of eating more and still may not end up feeling satisfied. After all that, you might STILL be thinking of the chocolate chip cookie that you wanted from the get go and might go get one. Now you have eaten the cookie you wanted plus all the ones you tried to use as a way to distract yourself. Had you just eaten THE cookie you really wanted you wouldn’t have consumed all those extra “low-fat” calories.
Buying a lot of shoes, because they are cheaper, rather than allowing yourself to purchase the more expensive pair you’ve been really wanting, can lead us to a closet full of shoes we don’t really like or wear.
There was a time in my life that I would not buy ANYTHING that wasn’t on sale. When someone would compliment me on something I was wearing I always felt compelled to tell them, “I got it on sale. It was a great deal.” After some time reflecting on why this is, and noticing that many other women tend to do the same thing, I came up with a theory.
For many women, especially mothers, spending money on themselves seems frivolous. They’ll buy tons of clothing for their kids, spend money on lessons, sports teams, tutors, etc, but not give themselves the pleasure of buying a handbag, a pair of shoes, or that “special” jam they’ve been eyeing for years yet feel they don’t deserve. Telling someone, “I got it on sale,” is somehow a way to feel justified in making the purchase.
I’m not suggesting we spend above our means. I just think that indulging in some small pleasures can enhance our experience in life. It reminds us that we are worth having what we really want instead of putting everyone else’s wants first.
Think about that the next time you buy something you don’t really love that you know will sit in your closet unworn. Why not buy the ONE you really like and will enjoy wearing? You’re worth it!
Can you relate? I’d love to hear from you!
